We All Want To Be Heard
The need to be understood is fundamental to human existence and happiness. We are attracted to like minded people and gather in tribes. Organizational cultures thrive when there is a common understanding of purpose, values and intent to co-create a desired outcome.
Yet as humans we all have unique perspectives. It's those conversations when there is a disconnect that can be the greatest moments for self discovery and growth. As always, each of us are at choice. You can ignore what just happened. Make up stories about the person and interaction. Walk away with a grudge.
Here are just three of many ways to learn from those moments of disconnect:
Make Relationship Your Primary Goal: If you believe like me that we are all seeking happiness and to be in good relationship with those we work with, then catch yourself when there is a disconnect in a conversation. Ask yourself: "Would I rather be right or happy?" Even if you answer "right" can you at least take the time to seek to understand the other?
Listen to Learn: Get curious. It's totally natural to hold on to your perspective. Can you at least park your perspective long enough, your agenda, to truly listen to the other person's perspective? Try putting on their shoes and deeply understanding where they are coming from. Ask open-ended "what" questions rather than "why." Meet the person where they are.
Intent vs. Impact: Remember no two people on the planet think alike. Despite gathering in tribes, we are all unique individuals. When you approach a conversation with curiosity and drop assumptions, you ask open questions to understand the person's intent. After fully hearing them you share the impact their intent had on you. Then you let the other person do the same.
When we can remember we are all human beings (not human doings), we can bring humanity into the workplace. Healthy conflict is necessary to thrive. These three tips are just some ways to enrich your conversations for a thriving workplace.
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